Brexit anxiety survival tips

1) Drink so much coffee you can feel your fingernails growing. Mindfully observe your fingernails growing.

2) Hide under a blanket and pull it right up over your head so you can pretend you are a very worried patchwork ghost.

3) At social gatherings, quietly excuse yourself from conversation, then stand in the nearest corner with your face to the wall and scream for 15 minutes.

4) Don’t eat for 24 hours, then inhale a whole family size bag of minstrels. This is called self-soothing.

5) If none of these make you feel better, stick your face in a basin of ice. You still won’t feel better but at least you’ll be miserable in a rectifiable way.
(This is genuinely taught as a distress tolerance technique in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. The theory is that it triggers the dive reflex and slows your heart rate, and that relieving the physical symptoms anxiety helps break the cycle of a panic attack and brings the emotion down. Last time I tried it, it was basically this scene from the producers. Watch from about 2:15 – “I’m wet! I’m hysterical and I’m wet!”)


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